The best meal of my life

By Spyros Mpazinas

 I have lived away from my country for many years. I have travelled to many countries and continents. I have eaten at the world’s best restaurants. But I have enjoyed the best meal of my life at Holy Mount Athos.

 Farther D was archontaris and could not visit the Dionisiou monastery to see blessed Elder Charalambos, former Abbot of the monastery, as he would have wished. For my part, I intended to visit the monastery to meet with Fr. Theoklitos as well. Fr D asked me to do him a favor. He wanted me to write down some of the questions he had on a piece of paper and record Fr Charalambo’s answers on the tape recorder.

 The next day after the all night vigil, I ate something and walked towards the monastery. The walk made me hot- if I remember correctly after all those years, it was spring time. I arrived at the monastery and headed straight towards Fr. Theoklito’s cell opposite the monastery. We talked for a long time and he told me many things. But I specifically remember something which impressed me.

 I asked: “Father, is it possible for one to reach God using his intellect?” His reply stayed with me forever: “Yes, if one’s intellect is combined with a somber heart which attracts Divine Grace and goes from purification to illumination, towards godliness ( theosi). He went on to explain that human abilities, which are finite and cannot by themselves reach Infinite God, are one indivisible whole. Therefore, the mind works well when the heart works equally well. Then the ‘whole’ man though Divine Grace can go through the various stages of the spiritual war and reach godliness. However, when the intellect  becomes self sufficient, as it happens with those who procure humanism,  enlightenment and rationalism, the intellect takes irrational leaps and it cannot of course lead one to God.

 Afterwards, I visited Elder Charalambos. He was waiting for me. I read to him the questions which Fr. D gave to me and recorded the replies he gave me. I was impressed by how easily he replied to me.  As a gift he gave me a prayer robe with one hundred beads with green bead posts, which helped me enormously throughout my life.

 In the end, he guided me outside and instructed me in his usual fatherly and welcoming manner: “Make sure you pass by the kitchen so that the keeper of the dinner table will give you something to eat”. I did and the keeper handed me a warm, small loaf of bread, a juicy tomato and a handful of olives.

 After an hour’s walk, I stopped to get something to eat. My Lord, what kind of dinner was this! What sweetness! How tasty! After fasting, prayer and this entire journey, the Lord’s Grace, with the Elder’s blessing, turned this humble dinner to the best feast which I have ever eaten in my life.

  The value of a good deed per day

It was the summer of 1988. I was walking from Dafni to Karyes, towards the monastery of Stavronikita, through to Ibiron, Filotheou, Lavra, Kerasia, and Saint Anne. Just outside Kerasia I met an old man digging in his garden.

“Welcome” he said. “Come inside to drink some water”.

I drank the water and thanked him. I thanked the Lord and we started talking.

“What’s your name?”

“S”

“Where are you from?”

“I am from Athens”.

“Where are you going?”

“I am going to Fr D”.

“What do you do?”

“I am a lawyer”.

“It doesn’t matter! Listen, my child. I will tell you a story.

There was a rich man, full of passions, selfishness and love for money, hatred and bad temper. Once when he was carrying several loaves of bread just bought from a bakery, a pauper asked for some help. But the rich man was annoyed and threw a loaf of bread at the pauper. The latter took it and fed his children.

Then the time came when the rich man died. The devil came and was dragging his soul towards Hell. All his passions were being weighed on the scales and were found too heavy. Then, my child, his guardian angel put the loaf of bread on the other side of the scales, which he had thrown annoyed against the poor man and with which the latter had fed his children and had benefited from him. Immediately the scales tipped on the side of the bread and his soul was saved.  Do you see, my child, what value even the smallest deed has, no matter how it is being committed? Be on your way, my child, and remember: Every night before you lie on your bed, see if you have done at least one good deed that day. This can save you”.

The liberating force of obedience

It was December, 1988. There was a blizzard and therefore the flight from Athens to Thessaloniki arrived three hours late. The taxi, which I had booked to take me to Ouranoupoli, had left. It was midnight and there was not even a soul at the airport.

Strangely enough though, I was not concerned even though I am a worrier. Truth be told, however, that every time I was approaching the Holy Mountain, I was always feeling stress free and was neither concerned about the heat nor the cold. Yet, again, this feeling of ease that I had that night was new to me. It was as if someone was looking after me.

I left the airport and looked around. I saw a middle aged man walking up and down with his head bowed. Suddenly he looks up, notices me and says almost annoyed:

“What are you looking at?”

I was embarrassed. “Nothing”.

“Where are you going to?”

“I am going to Ouranoupoli, but I was late and the taxi which I had booked, has left”.

He gave me the third degree and said somehow, annoyed”.

“Come. I will take you!”

This was my first surprise.

The normal route was snowed under, so if I am not mistaken, he took the highway through Kavala. The trip lasted more than four hours. The driver was swearing badly and was moaning all the time:

“Why did I ever agree to take you to Ouranoupoli?”

I didn’t make a sound during the whole trip, fearing that he might just drop me in the middle of the night in the blizzard! I was simply praying to our Lady.

As soon as we reached diaselo and saw Ouranoupoli from a distance, suddenly the atmosphere changed. Funny indeed!

He bowed his head, smiled and said:

“Hum! Do you know who told me to bring you here?”

“Who?”

“Our Lady!”

This was the second surprise! Then I said to myself: “Don’t say a word! You never know!”

I rested a couple of hours and in the morning I took the boat to Dafni. I met Fr F on the boat. He introduced me to the regional lieutenant of Karyes’ police authority. We started talking and Fr F asked me:

“Where are you going?”

“I am going to Karyes to see Elder Paisios and then off to your monastery”.

“Ah! You cannot go to Karyes. It is snowed under and the bus cannot pass through. But you can go with the lieutenant. He will be picked up by a car with a four wheel drive “.

To cut a long story short, the lieutenant took me to Fr M, where I was going to spend the night so that I could visit Elder Paisios in the morning. My shoes didn’t even get wet, despite all that snow! I was floating from one surprise to the next! There were too many coincidences to be accidental. But there is more…

The night I spent at Fr M’s place was one of the most blessed of my life. After dinner and the evening vespers each of us went to his room. I remember the coal fire, the oil lamp, the prayer book, but most of all the icon of our Lady at the head of my bed. During all the difficult times of my life, my mind would return to this night and this would give me a feeling of security away from my life’s turbulence. Even today, now that I am writing these lines, tears of gratitude brim on my eyes.

Then the blessed day came. We read the Matins, had some quick breakfast and made a short trip towards Fr Paisios cell. I went down the path, across the small stream and felt like I was flying. I rang the bell. A short time passed. Elder Paisios came out. He looked like he had been expecting me and said well heartedly:

“Welcome. Take a lokoumi and drink some water”. The water tap and the lokoumia were outside the gate. Then he opens the gate, leads me through the garden and on to his cell. I began citing my problem. He seemed to have known it, because he was pointing out some details which I had not paid attention to before. After he listened to me for a long time he said:

“And now, child, what are you thinking of doing?”

I marveled at his respect for my freedom. I was pouring my guts out to him and he would not dare take advantage. Then I said:

“Whatever you say to me, geronta, I will do it.”

I remember that at that very moment the heavy load of my problem was lifted. I felt the value of, and the liberating feeling of entrusting yourself to God through the spiritual father. The elder told me discretely what to do.

I left shortly afterwards.  I went down towards Fr S’s place to tell him the good news. And then I felt for the first time (but not the last) a velvet hand caressing my cheek. Immediately, I remembered that it was St Anne’s feast day. Anne was the girl I married with the blessing of Fr Paisios before I left my country at his instigation “not to return until I was on to something good”. Saint Anne, whom the monks at Holy Mount Athos call “our granny”, had become our family’s protector. 

As soon as I arrived at Fr S’s place, dirty and tired as I had been, he said something to me which no one had ever told me before or ever will again.

“S. What’s the matter with you? You look so handsome!’

‘Yeah, right!’, I thought to myself. I believed it was a strange thing to say because those days I had not been familiar with the ‘change’ that everyone who met Fr Paisios was going through. He was overtly pleased with my good news. The next day, I went to the monastery of Fr F to get the elder’s blessing. I will never forget the love he and the monks showered me with. I left with an easy conscience which lasted me a whole lifetime. Just by remembering the chorus of the icons of the martial Saints in Katholiko and calling out for the help of the Saints and our Fathers, gave me courage and peace during the difficult times of my life.

“ These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” John 16.33) “ Watch, you stand fast in the faith, act like men, be strong”.(1 Kor.16:13)

Conclusion

I have written down these memories out of love, respect and gratitude towards the blessed elders but also towards all the monks at the Holy Mount Athos, who in reality, are sincerely serving the whole of mankind in our Lady’s garden.( But also all those monks who are connected with this and the hesychastic tradition of the Fathers of the Desert). I have also given this account as a testimony against my two friends and classmates, who, when I defended and still continue to defend Vatopedi, the Holy Mount Athos and the Church in their present time of persecution because of internal and external politics, asked me if I belong to the ‘party of the Church’, or whether I have anything to gain from the Church.

I repeat the obvious, citing without any fear or prejudice my testament. The Church is an entire whole; Christ and all the faithful. Its struggling members in this life and those who have been saved cannot be part of ‘some part’, a ‘party’ or a state. When we are trying to convert this “whole” into ‘a part’, is a heresy and it becomes a blasphemy.

But, I must confess that the interests I have with the Church are enormous. Here in the foreign land where I live and with my Elder’s blessing, I take Holy Communion often and take antidoro every Sunday in Church. Once a year I rejoice in the humble hospitality of the Holy Mount Athos. As far as Vatopedi, or the Church or the Holy Mountain is concerned, they do not need any protection, none at all. They have the Lord, our Lady, all the Saints and all those people who believe in good faith throughout the world. They also recognize very well that they are the keepers of the only hope that humanity has and that they have a duty to preserve the Faith of our Fathers with the means that the Lords provides to serve the people. The question remains: Will one choose to enter the struggle next to Christ and His Saints and be saved, or fight Christ and be lost, because “ it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks” ( Acts 9:5)

Therefore, let me conclude by repeating the welcoming note and blessing of the blessed Elder Paisios: “Welcome boys! Either we all go to Heaven or none of us goes to Hell”. Lets us have his blessing!

Source: The Holy Mount Athos- The Living Byzantium ( facebook)